Strings Out The Music in Your Life....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

wa..! 16th arz.. must as well don run..!!
weak la.. sibei no face lehz!! short of one position!!
etc...
as expected this will happen. this is all the stuff ppl from my base are tellin me. haiz.. i didnt really react much.. jus a smile and i walk off.. too sad to react.. don knw why this kind of things spread so fast.. even ppl on leave on medical leave also knw i get 16th.. maybe becoz of the email.. tat's why ppl knw..

some of them actually say is good enough.. some take me as a joke.. one of the TL actually say this to me.. "did you watch Naruto.. you are jus like him.. still got alot of chakara. but don knw how to open it up and use.." after i hear this i was like.. wth you trying to say.. but if those who really care and give me encouragment from the bottom of your heart.. i'm really thankful

CO talk to me today.. ask me abt the cross country thing.. ask me how i feel anyway to improve this and tat.. i told her honestly how i feel.. wat ppl in the base are saying. i'm sad.. they don knw how i feel.. 在我的伤口上撒盐。 i also feel bad.. i also wanna get top 15th.

i tell CO.. she send 3 NS man for the cross country to represent our base.. they are not even in the top 30.. at least i get into the top 20th.. but i'm the only one gettin the shit.. why didnt they throw all those comment they had throw to me.. to them.. cant they be abit fair to me.. then must well i get last few la.. i'm the one who is the most sad person lorz.. that trophy jus fly away right infront of me and i cant do anything.. they are not runner from division lehz.. they are the special task team and garkha lehz.. they job is to train and train.. wat abt me.. i don even have enough time to train.. i even forget tat the X-country fall on tat day..

a week before i run i'm sick.. my body also haven fully recover yet.. i'm still havin cough.. i knw this are all excuse but.. be fair to me plz.. i'm a human.. i got feelin de lehz..

ya.. i knw by tellin CO abt all this make me look like very low class ppl.. but tat's how i feel.. all she say was.. i understand i understand.. wat does she really knw.. still ask me to train harder go again next yr.. ya.. next year i will sure go.. but this time i will run as an indivual.. representing myself..

shouldnt really bother abt them.. that's the reason why i choose not to explain to them, not to voice out when i receive those comment.. ya.. maybe they are really tat good.. ya.. i'm weak.. so.. tat's my limit for the time being.. STS, Gurkha.. i will be back.. hahaz..

shouldnt let all this bother me.. something i'm proud of.. i actually understand redox reaction.. hahaz.. the way it break down the chemical equation and balancing them.. haha.. shiyun also haven teach me.. i knw le.. wahahaz.. clever lehz.. i think chemistry is starting to get interesting.. but all thanks to Shiyun.. something really feel bliss you have her around..

anyway sorry abt tat they when you spend your time teaching me the acid and base thing. i actually throw temper at you.. hahaz..

erm shiyun was out for dinner wit a guy today.. hahaz. those who knw me well enough will be stun right.. why will i ever lent my girlfriend to some guys for his ORD dinner.. jus the 2 of them. hahaz. seriously i don knw lehz. she call me tellin me his friend cant find a gal to attend his ORD night.. so got no choice but to ask her..

i did allow her to go her. cause i knw she wants to go.. she wanna to help her frienz. ya.. this guy was her Sec. school friend. i heard of the name before. but don really remember how he look. anyway she went for the dinner.. hahaz. for the whole night i was quite ok la.. jus abit jealous here and there la.. i did tell her. if she had give me a msg while the dinner is still on.. i might not feel jealous at all.. hahaz.. cause at least i knw she still cares and knw my exist..

denise did call me.. and i did tell her abt this.. some comment from her la.. but ok la.. nth much.. ended school.. class mate ask.. whether i meetin my GF.. i told them shiyun havin dinner.. they were so stun.. hahaz.. this is wat they tell me.. "hell no will i ever let my GF go to some ORD dinner wit a guy.. so wat if they are very close.. in the end they are jus friends, some more you are in NS" ORD come on.! wake up Russel.. you must be mad..

hahaz.. don worry.. actually this time i'm really really ok wit it.. too bad.. i got a pretty gal that ppl wanna lent to show off.. why not.. hahaz. somemore she is kind to her his friend ma.. wahahaz.

眼泪都干了，你是否还会记得我

SAD :: 11:30 PM

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

00:15:29:62.. this is the timing i got for my Cross - Country today.. i came in 16th.. wtf..! top 15th got trophy.. haiz.. actually this trophy just flown away in-front of me.. its a 5km run.. at the last 300m.. this guy from gurkha unit ran pass me.. at the very second.. when he was beside me.. i wanna go faster than him.. but my leg just don obey me.. the power isn't coming.. there he goes.. the finishing point is just in-front.. and there goes my trophy too.. haiz..

if i nv remember wrongly.. i use to run abt 16 to 17 min (+ - ) for 5Km.. although i run much faster this time.. but i still wasnt the top 15th.. ytd i tell Shiyun tat this time X-country like cannot win.. cause 124 ppl in the race.. 27 came from the gurkha unit..

this ppl from the gurkha unit.. think they got 2 pairs of lung.. after the race they still can talk and laugh.. when i was like half dead..

after the race start.. i run as usual.. maybe abit faster.. i don knw.. reaching the turning point. i counted the number of ppl in front of me.. it was like 13 to 14 ppl.. so at tat time i tell myself.. i'm either in the 14th of 15th position.. all i need is to have a bigger and faster pace.. so tat ppl wont over take me or catch up wit me.. and i might even over take 1 or 2 more to secure my trophy..

when i was at the last turn before the finishing.. i turn my head back.. i saw one guy which was like 100m away from me.. after the turn.. i left abt 300m to the finishing.. i heard foot steps.. by the time i can react. this guy was beside me(and i realise it wasnt't the guy i saw when i turn my head to look back).. and by the time everything was too late.. i try to ask my leg to go faster.. but i think it has reach its limit..

i was praying hard tat the number of ppl i count was 13 so at least i'm at top 15th.. BUT.. it wasn't my day.. haiz.. i went to check the position.. i came in 16th.. my CO, my officer thought i could came in top 15th but in the end.. i didn't.. i'm a disappointment..

after the race my CO ask me.. which position i in.. i say 16th.. she ask me wat happen..? i couldn't answer.. the give a very disappoint and sad face.. she turn a walk away.. haiz.. this was the position.. if i nv remember wrongly

Gurkha
Gurkha
Gurkha
Gurkha
Gurkha
STS
Gurkha
Gurkha
Gurkha
Gurkha
STS
Gurkha
BRANI
Gurkha
Gurkha
Me

SAD :: 3:06 PM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ouch!! my neck hurts.. after so long.. i finally got my leave approve.. hahaz.. but in the end.. due to not having a proper sleeping position.. i hurt my neck.. which i hate the most.. cause it will last for a numbers of days and i will behave like robot.. hahaz..

although i did had my leave but i was woke up by my officer asking me this and tat.. and he call like 8plus.. haiz.. is not much of a diff lorz.. like workin from home.. hahaz.. and i couldnt get myself back to sleep anymore..

whole day nv do much.. watch the show koizora.. quite a touching show indeed.. hahaz.. if i'm not wrong is abt how this 2 couple get together.. at first.. then the gal(mika) kana rape.. at this.. but nth happen.. tat guy(hiro) still loves her.. then later in the show.. mika got baby le.. ok fair enough.. hiro take the responsibilty.. wan the baby still.. erm then due to some incident the baby is gone.. aiya.. your go watch la.. hahaz..

erm.. i have heard of something call 被鬼压。。but have nv expencience it till this monday 13/10/08.. but i don knw whether izzit. really tat anot.. cause i did tell shiyun but she say last time very long ago she also this kind of feelin before.. some say yes some say no.. nvm.. i will jus say out. is up to your to decide.. hahaz

it happen like this.. i when to resting, in one of the room.. it was like 1245.. the first time i woke up from my sleep was like 1318.. becoz melvin came into the room.. the second time i woke up to look at my phone was half an hr later which is 1348.. but its still early.. so i decided to rest longer..

then the next moment i wanna woke up.. i cant.. i cant control my hands and legs anymore.. i try very hard to move.. use lots of strength to move.. but i cant.. i wanna open my eyes. but i can bearly do it.. i could open abit only.. and wat i saw was melvin still resting.. i try to call him but i cant.. all i can feel is a force pushin my down and a weird sound.. which i don really rmb now..

by right i should be very scare.. but no.. i wasnt.. i am angry.. then someone came into the room to look for melvin.. at tat time i thought i'm save.. they gonna wake me up but they didnt.. instead melvin went back to rest again.. then i like went into a dream whereby i drop on a floor and manage to write on a paper tellin mel tat i can feel someone pressin me..

but when i draw myself out of tat so call dream.. i am sure think time i cant move too.. i was really angry.. at tat time i keep thinkin is those think.. so i keep scoldin @#$%^.. but it don work.. in the end i charge up all the strength i got.. one shot push myself up.. and hoof! i got up.. i feel werid.. and i am swearing.. hahaz..

i don knw whether is true anot.. but from tat day onwards.. i dare not rest there anymore.. hahaz.. change place..

静止了所有的花开

遥远了清晰的爱

天弥漫爱却更喜欢

那时候我不懂这叫爱

你喜欢站在那窗台

你好久都没再来

彩色的实际让人很空白

是你流的泪晕开

不要你离开距离隔不开

思念变成海在窗外进不来

原谅说太快爱成了阻碍

手中的风筝放太快回不来

不要你离开回忆花不开

请你等重来我在等待重来

天空仍灿烂她爱着大海

情歌被打败爱已不存在

你喜欢站在那窗台

你好久都没再来

彩色的实际让人很空白

是你流的泪晕开

不要你离开距离隔不开

思念变成海在窗外进不来

原谅说太快爱成了阻碍

手中的风筝放太快回不来

不要你离开回忆花不开

请你等重来我在等待重来

天空仍灿烂她爱着大海

情歌被打败爱已不存在

SAD :: 5:21 PM

Saturday, October 11, 2008

hahaz.. was so so busy wit my school work and duty.. is true serving NS cum studyin is damn damn tiring.. hahaz.. but i will still maintain the right attitude towards it.. hahaz..

erm.. let's talk a bit of my school stuff.. total of 20 ppl in the class.. but there are only 3 guys 17 girls.. hahaz.. funny right.. and there are sitting plan in the classroom.. after 3 days of studyin.. i think they wont change the sitting plan for the time being.. hahaz.. ya.. one more thing.. 1 of the 3 guy is like 50plus yrs old.. and the other 1 is like 28 like tatz.. but the most important part.. i smile 最帅的 hahaz..

actually i sit on the first row in the class which i was quite happy.. cause i need to pay fully attention in class as i nv touch chemistry before.. i sit in between 2 girls.. hahaz. (shiyun don be jealous.. i'm firm de.. hahaz.. my root grow deep into your heart le.. hahaz) on the left i have a korean girl.. but i don knw her name.. cant recall. then on the right is also a normall girl.. hahaz.. this korean girl a bit fan lehz.. keep askin me this and that when i concerntrating.. plus by askin me you are like lookin up a chinese word in an english dictionary lorz.. haiz.. something really percek lehz.. feel like shoutin at her.. hahaz.. if i'm in secondary school.. girl.. i think you will be DEAD yo..! hahaz..

during the first day orientation.. there is a part we need to self intro so i happen to knw tat every single one of them study chemistry.. only ME. this dumb dumb nv.. izzit myself to be blame or the school which provide me which such a funny combination.. Bio and Phy. although is call chemistry foundation course but.. i am like studyin pure chemistry and A level chemistry which is like normal ppl use at least a 4yrs to knw the topic. but i only got 4mth of less to do so.. DOOM!!

but the sir actually say i have an advantage and disadvantage..advantage is i wont be confuse during lesson.. cause those who study sub chem tend to be very confuse when studyin this course.. disadvantage is i will have a very hard time.. hahaz.. hope so lorz.. everything has its pros and cons.. hahaz.

but luckily i got shiyun and one of my frienz in my unit to help me through.. during free time i will read my note and if anything i don understand my frienz will explain to me.. really thanks for your help.. although you are like not willing to.. hahaz.. erm and shiyun.. she actually come to my house to teach me.. hahaz.. lucky she havin break now.. so still ok.. thankz BB for the notes also.. hahaz.. when she at my house.. i was studyin tand she like one dumb dumb.. do nth.. at times go out to watch TV wit my mother.. hahaz..

honest speakin.. before my sister went to china.. i always hope she can faster go there.. (not becoz of anything bad la.. is wan her to faster go china..) even when the day she went there i'm still alright.. but.. slowly.. i feel something missin.. is her shadow.. hahaz.. although when she is at home.. she always pull up a ' you owe me a million dollar face' but at least you knw there is someone you can look for when you need help la.. is not something negative.. erm i don knw how to explain.. (think my sister will understand wat i wanna say.. hahaz.. cause she is my sister ma hahaz) it has been a mth.. hope she is doin fine over there.. although home is like normal.. nth much goin on.. like those time when she is still around. but i still feel pressure.. i feel like i have to hold a bigger responsibility when she is not around.. cause everything will come to me eventually since she is not around(which wit or w/o her things still comes to me) but i jus find it diff la.. am i missing her.. i think so ba.. hahaz..

plus school starts le.. i feel more wantin her to be in S'pore.. cause when at night. when i'm studyin.. i tend to not understand wat the text book is trying to say.. i wanted to call shiyun to ask but i knw it wont work.. cause is not easy to teach through phone.. then at the time i will be thinking if you are at home.. i can still ask you.. at least i wont feel so down and percek.. not only studyin many many other things..

so you are making me havin all those feelin.. now i wanna punish you.. and the punishment is make sure you get something of my likin when you come back new yr new yr.. wahahahaz..... good punishment.. wahahaz.. JiaYou.. my future DR. LEE. still rmb wat i tell you.. i doubt so.. but nvm i remind you again.. come back le.. make sure and use the needle to poke till i got no white hair and my golden left leg is all yours.. hahazz... in advance.. thankz Dr. Lee..

hey hey hey.. my house got Dr. Lee lehz.. 中医师 lehz.. hahazz.. bye!!

p.s i want you to faster come back.. but i cant be so selfish.. take care!!

SAD :: 9:29 AM

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

erm.. i can predict there will soon be a few nightmare for me.. and one had already happen.. there's more to come..

Nightmare 1(29/09/08): went to Jurong medical Center today.. went there to look at the result of my MRI scan two weeks ago at Alexander Hospital.. as i have already feel tat the result wont turn out to be good 60% bad, 30% not injuries not so bad, 10% normal.. tat's my prediction before i went there and yeah, it turn out to be bad.. This is wat the report says:

an irregula, lineaa area of increase signal intensity is noted in the posterior horn of the medical meniscus which points towards the inferior articular surface
The interior horn of the medial meniscus and the lateral mensicus are normal
The anterior and posterior cruciate ligament are normal
The medial and lateral collateral ligament, the extensor mechanism are normal
No feature of bone contusion, oedema or significant joint effusion noted. The articular cartilage surface are normal.

Impression:

appearances suggestive of a tear of the posterior horn of the medial meniscus, apparently not communucating with the articular surface are noted, other appearances are normal...

This is my commumication wit the doctor D: so how? Mr Lee. still feelin pain on your left knee? Me: Ya! sometimes. D: this is the pic of your MRI scan and the report(above is the report). let me explain your situation to you now. currently the scan shows tat you have injury your meniscus. i suggest you to have Arthroscopic Surgery. Me: O.o"'(scare) huh?? for wat..? D: firstly is to make sure tat its really the mensicus is causin the pain. and secondly if its true.. we can treat it immediately.. Me: wa! you take me as an experiment arz..? D: erm no.. is to confrim and treat it.. Me: if i have the operation.. will it affect my future manoeuvre..? D: have to see how well your body can recover.. Me: HUH? wa then there might be a chance i will walk like clipper la.. D: erm.. i cannot guarantee Mr. Lee Me: is there no other way.. D: you can try doin some dino........( i don knw the term) erm but this is the best way.. Me: can i go home and discuss wit my family../ D: sure sure.. Me: how able physiotherapy.. will it works..? D: you can try.. Me: erm but i'm tell you.. Surgery is my last resort... D: ya.. sure sure.. Me: can i have the full detail of the surgery D: erm you can go online to change it out yourself.. but if we do the surgery for you.. we will cut 2 hole.. each abt a cm on you knee and put in a telescope to see.. Me: erm one more think.. i have been runnin quite alot.. will this worsen my injuries..? D: erm actually tat might help your leg to recover.. Me: you sure anot.. you thing y leg mircale arz.. D: no but it really helps. cause when you run your muscle contacts and expand.. so it might position back your mensicus.. Me: ok Thanks!! but i check online abt this surgery they say it will recover very fast. and ppl who have done the operation are back to their normal life.. but the Doctor say different thing de lehz haiz.. i don knw wat to say.. blog till here really got no mood to contiune.. Bye!!

P.S: for those who care this is the website: http://www.medicinenet.com/arthroscopy/article.htm

SAD :: 5:38 PM